A Marriage Therapist's Blog
Thoughts on Marriage Counseling
Archive for January, 2008
It probably wouldn’t surprise you to know that husbands and wives who come to marriage therapy don’t always agree about what their problems are. And sometimes one spouse (typically the husband) thinks that everything is fine, while the wife thinks there are big problems in the relationship. In this scenario, if I were to ask the husband what brings the couple in to marriage counseling, he might say something like, “the only problem is that she thinks there’s a problem.”
He’s right, to a certain extent. If either spouse thinks something is a problem, then, in my opinion, it’s a problem for both of them. So if the wife thinks there is a problem in the relationship, she is automatically correct! It can’t be disputed.
However, I think the husband would probably be wrong that there are no other problems. A man who says something like that is likely to be one who distances himself from his wife - and that’s a problem right there. We would need to look at why he distances himself. Does he feel attacked, or does he feel hopeless that he will never be able to please his wife, or is it something else? That’s something we would delve into in marriage therapy.
A Brief History of Plagiarism & Copyright Infrigement of this Website
©2007, 2008 Jay Slupesky, M.A., MFT. All rights reserved.
Referer: none
East Bay Couples
Counseling
Two Convenient Locations
- San Ramon: Off I-680 at Crow Canyon Road
- Livermore: Near Valley Memorial Hospital and LifeStyleRx