A Marriage Therapist's Blog
Thoughts on Marriage Counseling
This week I’m in Phoenix, studying treatments for sex addiction at workshop given by the International Institute for Truma and Addiction Profesionals (IITAP). I’ve been interested in sex addiction for a some time, mainly because of the number of men I’ve worked with who had an internet pornography addiction.
This workshop is being led by Dr. Patrick Carnes, who was a pioneer in the research and treatment of sex addiction. His book, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, written in 1983, was the groundbreaking book in the field. Also teaching is Dr. Kenneth Adams, who has also written books on the topic.
Sex addiction is an increasing problem in our society, due in large part to the internet. Online, it is easy to access pornography of every variety, find partners for casual anonymous sex, and locate prostitutes. The discovery by a spouse or partner of a secret sex addiction is, of course, very damaging, and often brings couples into marital therapy.
Tags: porn addiction, sex addiction
This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 9th, 2008 at 5:27 pm and is filed under Infidelity, Specific Problems.
3 Responses to “Addicted to Sex”
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April 19th, 2009 at 10:32 am
I have discovered again that my husband is looking at porn. He has been in SAA classes, been counseled by an SAA Counselor associated with Patrick Carnes, etc. This last time he told me, when I look at pornography and masterbate, I am really thinking about you. In my opinion, my husband is deceived.
Have you found that this is a common statmenet married men make to their wives to try and lessen the degree of shame they might feel for being caught again?
April 20th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Hi Alice,
No, I haven’t heard that excuse, and frankly, I do not believe it. If he is thinking of you, why is he looking at photos/videos of another woman??
-Jay
July 1st, 2009 at 1:06 pm
My husband and I have been married for 13 years.He is on adult sites off and on.He at one time had quiet a collection of adult movies, I think.My gut tells me time and time again we have big issues. I know in my heart he has crossed the line. He tells me I am crazy and have to much time on my hands.We have had really bad fights about this. Well here we are again my gut is telling me somthing is very wrong. I find myself searching through his things phone records and much more. He is on the computer looking at adult content. I know there is somthing really wrong and I cant take it. It will be turned around into my fault. What can I do?