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Jan 15

…and the Hair Loss is a Real Pain Too

By Jay Slupesky
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Marriage Dynamics

Man in CrisisSome marriages of couples in their 40s or 50s are in trouble, and the couple is in marriage therapy, because the husband is having a “mid-life crisis.” But what does that term mean, exactly? It’s usually thought of as the man realizing that he is in the second half of his life, that he is not going to live forever after all, and that he’s not going to be rich and famous like he always dreamt he would be. Supposedly the guy wakes up one day and asks himself, “Is that all there is?”  And then he goes out and has an affair with his 25 year-old secretary in an attempt to make himself feel young again.

But does the midlife crisis really exist? Richard Friedman, a psychiatrist who writes a column in The New York Times, wonders if it might just be a handy excuse for the impulsive behaviors of a middle-aged narcissist. Friedman writes,

…you have to admit that “I’m having a midlife crisis” sounds a lot better than “I’m a narcissistic jerk having a meltdown.”

As a marriage therapist who sees men in self-declared midlife crises, I’m a bit skeptical about the ”crisis” being an actual emotional condition.  I fear that it tends be used as an excuse for behavior that should be inexcusable.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 15th, 2008 at 4:56 pm and is filed under Marriage Dynamics.

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