Imago Relationship Therapy I

Mar 30

By Jay Slupesky

Imago Relationship Therapy is a branch of couples counseling based on the work of Harville Hendrix. The goal of Imago Therapy is for a couple to develop an aware, intimate, and committed relationship. In my work with couples, I utilize Imago Therapy and have found it to be extremely effective. I plan to devote a few posts to explain more about this type of marriage therapy and how it works.

One basic premise of Imago Therapy is that each of us become wounded during the early years of life, as a result of mistakes by our primary caregivers. We have a composite of all of the positive and negative traits of our primary caregivers stored in our unconscious mind, and this is called the Imago. When looking for our spouse, we search (without even necessarily realizing it!) for someone who matches this composite or Imago. We do this because, ultimately, we are searching for someone who will help us heal, address, or confront the “unfinished business” from childhood, and grow into more whole people.

While the first stage of romantic love brings a couple together, there is an inevitable power struggle that ensues as soon as a commitment is made. This power struggle (while uncomfortable, frustrating, angering, and often the reason why couples want outside support and help) is necessary and extremely important because it provides the information required for each partner’s lasting healing and growth.

Navigating this power struggle is another thing! It is a critical yet often daunting task. Thus, the core practice of Imago Relationship Therapy is an approachable three-part, structured process called the Imago Dialogue. In an upcoming post, I will describe and define the three parts of the Imago Dialogue, explain why each part is important, and describe how utilizing this dialogue can help each person be a better, more connected spouse.

Tags: Imago

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 at 9:25 pm and is filed under Imago Relationship Therapy.

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