Marriage Counseling for One

Jul 26

By Jay Slupesky

Red Sky Over San Francisco Bay As I’m sure you are aware, most marriage counseling takes place with both the husband and the wife present. However, over the past year or so I have had a handful of cases in which only one spouse attended counseling because the other spouse refused to come. In almost every case, remarkable progress was made in the marriage as a result of the one spouse’s counseling experience.

I think that an individual who begins marriage counseling without his/her spouse in attendance shows true dedication and commitment. I would have expected that more often it would be the wife who would begin counseling alone, but in my experience it’s been about equally split between husbands and wives.

So how does it work? Obviously, I only get a firsthand report from one person. However, I also strive to figure out how the absent spouse feels about things. I do this by asking the attending individual what the absent spouse says (which would be counsidered inadmissable hearsay evidence in a court!) and then inferring what emotions are in play.

At this point I can begin making concrete suggestions to the attending individual regarding what he/she can do to make immediate improvements to the relationship.

The real payoff is when the absent spouse, impressed by the changes that the other person has made, begins to attend counseling.

Tags: suggestions

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 26th, 2008 at 5:08 pm and is filed under About Marriage Therapy.

One Response to “Marriage Counseling for One”

John E Says:
October 18th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
That helped me! i gotta get some one on one and then take the leftovers home………

A Marriage Therapist's Blog

Thoughts on Marriage Counseling