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Feb 23

Marriage Therapist’s Tip #9: Create Rituals

By Jay Slupesky
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Marriage Therapist's Tips

Ice Cream!!Create rituals.  What is a ritual?  I’m talking about celebrations, traditions, and routines that are a regular part of your marriage – or maybe even your whole family.

Developing family rituals provides meaning for family interactions and helps clarify roles and responsibilities within the family.

I’ll give you an example. One couple that I worked with has a ritual that I really like. For them, Sunday night is ice-cream and games night. The whole family participates and they invite friends too. They have a variety of ice cream flavors on hand and set up the containers in something like a buffet line.  Sound like fun to me. The point is that every member of the family looks forward to all week long.  It’s an important part of the family’s identity, and it gives the husband and wife a feeling of pride, of working together, and a sense of connectedness.

Another couple I know recites their wedding vows to one another every year on their anniversary. Then they take a limousine ride to a hotel – just like they did on their wedding night.  The next day they go on a vacation – just like they did for their honeymoon.

Traditions also help to preserve the couple’s parable, or “story.” Families are eager to share their memories and experiences; the process of telling their stories seems to bring them together as they laugh and remember.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, February 23rd, 2008 at 4:50 pm and is filed under Marriage Therapist's Tips.

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