A Marriage Therapist's Blog

 

Thoughts on Marriage Counseling

 

Jul 31

Talking About Talking

By Jay Slupesky
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Communication

Coast Guard Cutter EagleAs I’ve written about before, probably more than half of the couples I meet with tell me that they have communication problems. Following are some questions that I ask to try to clarify exactly what the problem is. Ask yourself these questions!

  1. Can you tell your partner about things that are bothering you? Or do you keep those things to yourself because you don’t want to upset your partner? People who don’t talk about hurts can build up resentment.
  2. Do you feel “heard” by your partner? Does he/she respect your opinion and consider your point of view?
  3. Can you ask for partner for things that you want? Or are you afraid of being turned down or punished in some way?
  4. When you are partner disagree about something, do one (or both) of you refuse to talk about it? In other words, does one of you “withdraw” as a defense against possible conflict?
  5. Do you wish your partner were more willing to talk to you? Are you lonely and wanting deeper conversations?
  6. Does your partner always know how you feel? He/she will only know if you are feel free to talk about your feelings! (See #1)

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 31st, 2008 at 4:39 am and is filed under Communication.

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