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Aug 14

What Did You (Not) Say?

By Jay Slupesky
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Communication

Clouds Obscuring Sun We typically think of couples where the woman talks a lot more than the man. She can talk about how she feels and communicate what she wants, but the man can’t or won’t do so nearly as much.

But in some couples that I have worked with, neither partner communicates very much. Both hesititate to tell the other how they feel, what they think, or what they want.

I think this is a recipe for trouble. My typical comment in a situation like this is, “Wow. There must be a lot of things going unsaid.” When hurt feelings are bottled up, feelings of resentment rise and a blow-up is usually just around the corner. Multiply this by two when both partners are keeping their feelings to themselves.

What’s the solution? Create an environment where it’s safe to say how you feel because you are confident that you will get an understanding response.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 14th, 2008 at 8:45 am and is filed under Communication.

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