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Thoughts on Marriage Counseling

 

Dec 31

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

By Jay Slupesky
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Communication

Woman Trying to CommunicateIn the very first marriage counseling session with a couple, I want to find out what they think their main issues are. I’ll say something like, “What brings you guys here?” or “What do you two need help with?” It’s always interesting (and informative) to see what happens at that point. Who talks first? And how long does he/she talk? Do both spouses allow that the partner has a different view on things which may have some validity?

But here’s what’s interesting. Around 80% of couples tell me that they have a communication problem! (Usually the wife is the one who says this.) It’s so common that after a while I began to wonder exactly what people mean when they say “communication problem”. They can’t all mean the same thing, right?

So now I always ask people for more details. A common answer (but not the only one) is that the wife feels like her husband doesn’t listen to her, doesn’t respect her viewpoint, and won’t tell her how he feels about things.

This will be my last post in 2007. See you next year!

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This entry was posted on Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 7:41 am and is filed under Communication.

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