A Marriage Therapist's Blog

 

Thoughts on Marriage Counseling

 

Feb 15

When Baby Makes Three - Part II

By Jay Slupesky
Add comments
Specific Problems


Trumpet Vines
Photo © 2009 Jay Slupesky

As I mentioned in my previous post, marital satisfaction tends to go down after the arrival of the first child if the pregnancy was not planned or, if it was planned, if one (or both) both parents were not in agreement about having a baby or were not enthusiastic about it. Put another way, couples who planned their pregnancy and where both spouses were excited about it can maintain or even increase their satisfaction after the baby arrives.

Parenthood sometimes causes a couple to revert to the “traditional” gender roles because the woman quits her job to stay home with her child. Some couples are quite comfortable with the traditional roles, but for others it can be a source of stress.  The man way resent his wife for not contributing to the family’s income, and the woman may resent her husband for not helping with housework and childcare. Hopefully, the couple had decided well in advance whether the woman would stay home or would continue working, and had planned accordingly.

Tags:

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 15th, 2009 at 7:02 pm and is filed under Specific Problems.

One Response to “When Baby Makes Three - Part II”

  1. Izzy Says:
    March 6th, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    I’m aware that both you and the site aren’t here to give out free advice. But what are the likelihood that an unhappy marriage (incompatible union), a long distance relationship for the entire period of both dating and marriage PLUS an unplanned child have on the survival of the marriage? Anything you might have to say to this will be very much appreciated.

Leave a Comment