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Feb 08

When Baby Makes Three

By Jay Slupesky
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Marriage Dynamics


New York City, Seen From the Hudson River
Photo © 2008 Jay Slupesky

Some young people in unhappy marriages think that having a child is a good way to improve the happiness and satisfaction of their relationship. I get a little uneasy when I hear this because I know it’s not always true. I know that sometimes having a baby adds enough stress to a marriage that divorce is the eventual result. The child that was hoped to bring happiness winds up being a child of divorced parents.

Studies show that marital satisfaction levels can drop when a couple becomes parents for the first time. This is more likely if the couple didn’t plan to get pregnant or weren’t in full agreement about getting pregnant, and if the couple didn’t talk in advance and plan about life with a newborn.

On the other hand, if the pregnancy was planned and the parents were both enthusiastic about parenthood, the couple can maintain their satisfaction, or maybe even increase it, after their baby is born.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 8th, 2009 at 1:45 pm and is filed under Marriage Dynamics.

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