Office in Walnut Creek, California CA
My Walnut Creek office is located at 33 Quail Court, Suite 300. The Quail Court office complex is very close to the South Main Street exit off Interstate 680. The Walnut Creek office also serves the cities of Lafayette, Pleasant Hill, Alamo, Concord, Orinda, Moraga, Danville, Martinez, San Ramon, Berkeley, Emeryville, Antioch, Dublin, Pleasanton, Pittsburg, Brentwood, Clayton, and Discovery Bay.
Sometimes in marriage counseling I find myself working with a person who has what I call a strong need to be right. Yes, that even happens here in Walnut Creek! A person who needs to be right not only refuses to budge from his or her position, but spends a lot of time and energy trying to convince the other person that they are wrong. I have seen both men and women who need to be right, and when I see them in couples counseling I always know that I have my work cut out for me.
I've noticed that when someone needs to be right, they will continue to argue their position even after they realize that they are wrong! There seems to be an inability not only to give in and accept the other person's position, but an inability to declare a "draw" and to realize that neither person is going to change the other's mind.
I have often wondered why some people just cannot admit it when they realize they are wrong. I think comes down to an insecurity and/or low self-esteem. If they admit they made a mistake, it apparently would take them down a peg or two in their own mind. In marriage counseling I will sometimes see a couple where one person has this inability to admit fault, and it makes life very unpleasant for their partner.
When I see people exhibiting the need to be right in couples therapy I try to point out that not only are they wasting time trying to change the other person's mind, they are damaging their relationship even further by continuing to bicker even though neither person is going to "win" the argument - in fact they are both going to lose in the long run.
The worst case is when a couple comes to Walnut Creek for marriage counseling and both of them need to be right! This is a couple who spends a lot of time fighting and it is just so pointless and so damaging to the marriage. I once heard a couple arguing about whose fault it was that they argued so much! I point out how ridiculous this was - they were arguing about their arguing! Where does it end?