Office in Walnut Creek, California CA
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200 Old Bernal Ave, Pleasanton, CA 94566 |
| 1. | Head west on Old Bernal Ave toward Augustine St | 0.2 mi |
| 2. | Turn right at Bernal Ave | 1.1 mi |
| 3. | Turn right to merge onto I-680 N toward Sacramento | 18.2 mi |
| 4. | Exit onto S Main St toward Walnut Creek | 0.2 mi |
| 5. | Turn right toward Creekside Dr | 92 ft |
| 6. | Turn right at Creekside Dr | 217 ft |
| 7. | Take the first left onto Quail Ct | 39 ft |
| East Bay Couples Counseling, 33 Quail Ct, Suite 300, Walnut Creek, CA 94596 |
Here's a myth that I've heard from more than one Pleasanton couple: "love means never having to say you're sorry." This quote, from the book (and movie) Love Story, is...well...this is family website so I can't say what I really think about it, so I'll say it's a load of crap! When you are in love, you should be saying "I'm sorry" often, and you should mean it. Apologies are part of taking responsibility for your own behavior, which is a sign of a mature adult. Everyone makes mistakes, so everyone has a need to apologize.
Some people are unable to apologize. I almost always diagnose this as a sign of insecurity. A person who is not secure has a hard time admitting that she/he makes mistakes, because of a fear that the mistake will lower the other person's opinion. So instead of offering a sincere "I'm sorry", the offender doesn't mention it, buries it, denies it, whatever. It's not good. And they may even quote the movie line to reassure themselves that the apology is not required!
By the way, the insecure person is probably insecure because as a child he/she was criticized often and not given much praise, acceptance, or approval. This is a terrible thing, of course, and it shows how poor parenting can affect someone for life. But that's a subject for another article.
So my advice to the non-apologizer is this: get over it! And start apologizing! Your partner will appreciate it. Here's a blueprint for you to follow; just fill in the blanks:
I'm sorry that I ____________. I know you are upset about it, and that makes sense to me, because I would probably feel the same way. I wish I hadn't done it. I'll try not to let it happen again.
There you go, Pleasanton couples! Try it and see what happens.